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thefakejeffreyazoff · 4 years ago

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‘He’s our Satan’: Mega music manager Irving Azoff, still feared, still fighting

(x)PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. —

This is not Irving Azoff’s house. Irving and his wife Shelli own houses all over, from Beverly Hills to Cabo San Lucas, but right now in the last week of October it’s too cold at the ranch in Idaho and too hot at the spread in La Quinta, so he’s renting this place — a modest midcentury six-bedroom that sold for $5 million back in 2016.

From the front door you can see all the way out, to where Arrowhead Point juts like the tail of a comma into the calm afternoon waters of Carmel Bay. More importantly, the house is literally across the street from the Pebble Beach Golf Links, where Azoff likes to play with his college buddy John Baruck, who started out in the music business around the same time Azoff did, in the late ’60s, and just retired after managing Journey through 20 years and two or three lead singers, depending how you count.

(Via LA Times)

Azoff is 72, and this weekend he’ll be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame alongside Bruce Springsteen’s longtime manager Jon Landau. Beatles manager Brian Epstein and Rolling Stones manager Andrew Loog Oldham are already in, but Azoff and Landau are the first living managers thus honored. Azoff is not only alive — he’s still managing. As a partner in Full Stop Management — alongside Jeffrey Azoff, his oldest son and the third of his four children — he steers the careers of clients like the Eagles, Steely Dan, Bon Jovi and comedian Chelsea Handler, and consults when needed on the business of Harry Styles, Lizzo, John Mayer, Roddy Ricch, Anderson .Paak and Maroon 5. Azoff has Zoom calls at 7, 8 and 9 tomorrow morning, and only after that will he squeeze in a round.

The work never stops when you view the job the way Azoff does, as falling somewhere between consigliere and concierge. “My calls can be everything from ‘My knee buckled, I need a doctor’ to ‘My kid’s in jail,’” Azoff says. “I mean, you have no idea. The ‘My kid’s in jail’ one was a funny one, because the artist then said to me, ‘Y’know, I’ve thought about this. Maybe we should leave him there for a while.’”

Golf entered Azoff’s life the way a lot of things have — via the Eagles, whom Azoff has managed since the early ’70s. Specifically, Azoff took up golf in the company of the late Glenn Frey, the jockiest Eagle, the one the other Eagles used to call “Sportacus.” By the time the Eagles returned to the road in the ’90s they’d left their debauched ’70s lifestyles largely behind, but Azoff and Frey got hooked on the little white ball.

“Frey would insist on booking the tour around where he wanted to play golf,” Azoff says. “We made Henley crazy. Henley would call me in my room and he’d go, ‘Why the f— are we in a hotel in Hilton Head North Carolina and starting a tour in Charlotte? Is this a f— golf tour?’”

Trailed by Larry Solters, the Eagles’ preternaturally dour minister of information, Azoff makes his way down the hill from the house for dinner at the golf club’s restaurant. He’s only 5 feet, 3 inches, a diminutive Sydney Pollack in jeans and a zip-up sweater. In photos from the ’70s — when he was considerably less professorial in comportment, a hipster exec with a spring-loaded middle finger — he sports a beard and a helmet of curly hair and mischievous eyes behind his shades, and looks a little like a Muppet who might scream at Kermit over Dr. Teeth’s appearance fee.

His father was a pharmacist and his mother was a bookkeeper. He grew up in Danville, Ill., booked his first shows in high school to pay for college, dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and manage local acts such as folk singer Dan Fogelberg and heartland rock band REO Speedwagon. Los Angeles soon beckoned. He met the Eagles while working for David Geffen and Elliot Roberts’ management company and followed the band out the door when they left the Geffen fold; they became the cornerstone of his empire. “I got my swagger from Glenn Frey and Don Henley,” he says. “No doubt about it.”

Azoff never took to pot or coke. The Eagles lived life in the fast lane; he was the designated driver. “Artists,” he once observed, “like knowing the guy flying the plane is sober.” This didn’t stop him from trashing his share of hotel rooms, frequently with guitarist Joe Walsh — whose solo career Azoff shepherded before Walsh joined the Eagles, and who was very much not sober at this time — as an accomplice.

“This was a different age,” Walsh says of his time as the band’s premier lodging-deconstructionist. “We could do anything we wanted, so we did. And Irving’s role was to keep us out of prison, basically.” He recalls a pleasant evening in Chicago in the company of John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, which culminated in Walsh laying waste to a suite at the Astor Towers hotel that turned out to be the owner’s private apartment. “We had to check out with a lawyer and a construction foreman,” Walsh remembers. “But Irving took care of it. Without Irving, I’d still be in Chicago.”

Azoff became even more infamous for the pit bull brio he brought to business negotiations on behalf of the Eagles and others, including Stevie Nicks and Boz Scaggs. He didn’t seem to care if people liked him, and his artists loved him for that. Steely Dan co-founder Walter Becker said they’d hired Azoff because he “impressed us with his taste for the jugular … and his bizarre spirit.” Jimmy Buffett’s wife grabbed him outside a show at Madison Square Garden, pushed him into the back of a limo and said, You have to manage Jimmy, although Buffett already had a manager at the time.

His outsized reputation as an advocate not just willing but eager to scorch earth on behalf of his clients became an advertisement for his services, a phenomenon that continues to this day. In August 2018, Azoff’s then-client Travis Scott released “Astroworld,” which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 chart, and occupied that slot again the following week, causing Nicki Minaj’s album “Queen” to debut at No. 2. On her Beats One show “Queen Radio,” Minaj accused Scott of gaming Billboard’s chart methodology to keep her out of the top slot and singled his manager out by name: “C—sucker of the Day award,” she said, “goes to Irving Azoff.” Azoff says he reacted as only Azoff would: “I said, ‘I’m really unhappy about that. I want to be c—sucker of the year.’” In 2019, Minaj hired Azoff as her new manager.

Most of the best things anyone’s ever said about Azoff are statements a man of less-bizarre spirit would take as an insult. When the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted the Eagles in 1998, Don Henley stood onstage and said of Azoff, “He may be Satan, but he’s our Satan.”

An N95-masked Azoff takes a seat on a patio with a view of hallowed ground — the first hole of the Pebble Beach course, a dogleg-right par 4 with a priceless view of the bay. He cheerfully admits that he and his partners at Full Stop are “obviously, as a management business, kind of losing our ass” this year due to COVID-19. In another reality, the Eagles would have played Wembley Stadium in August before heading off to Australia or the Far East. Styles would have just finished 34 dates in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. As it stands Azoff is hearing encouraging things about treatments and vaccines and new testing machines, and is reasonably confident that technology will soon make it possible for certified-COVID-free fans to again enjoy carefree evenings of live music together; he doesn’t expect much to happen in the meantime.

“What are you gonna do,” Azoff says, “take an act that used to sell 15,000 seats and tell them to play to 4,000 in the [same] arena? The vibe would be horrible, and production costs will stay the same.”

He knows of at least six companies trying to monetize new concert-esque experiences — pay-per-view shows from houses and soundstages, drive-in events and so on. But he’s not convinced anybody wants to sit in their parked car to watch a band play. More to the point, he’s not convinced it’s rock ’n’ roll.

“Fallon and Kimmel, all these virtual performances — people are sick of that,” he says. “Your production values from home aren’t that good. And they’re destroying the mystique. I mean, Justin Bieber jumping around on ‘Saturday Night Live’ the other night without a band, and then he had Chance the Rapper come out? It made him look to me, mortal. I didn’t feel any magic. So we’ve kinda been turning that stuff down to just wait it out.”

In the meantime, he says, Full Stop is picking up new clients during the pandemic. Artists with time on their hands, he believes, “have taken a hard look at their careers— so we’ve grown. No revenues,” he adds with a chuckle, “but people are saying, ‘We need you, we need to plan our lives.’”

“IN HIGH SCHOOL,” Jeffrey Azoff says, “I wanted to be a professional golfer, which has obviously eluded me.” He never expected to take up his father’s profession. “But my dad has always loved his job so much. There’s no way that doesn’t rub off on you.”

The younger Azoff got his first industry job at 21, as a “glorified intern” working for Maroon 5’s then-manager Jordan Feldstein. After a week of filing and fetching coffee, he called his father and complained that he was bored. According to Jeffrey, Irving responded, “Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son.”

“Direct quote,” Jeffrey says. “It’s one of my favorite things he’s ever said to me. And it’s the spirit of the music business, by the way. There are no rules to this. Just figure it out.”

Over dinner I keep asking Irving how he got the temerity, as a kid barely out of college, to plunge into the shark-infested waters of the ‘70s record industry in Los Angeles. He just shrugs.

“I never felt the music business was that competitive,” he says. “It’s just not that f—ing hard. I don’t think there’s that many smart people in our business.”

It’s been written, I say, that once you landed in California and sized up the competition, you called John Baruck back in Illinois and said —

“We can take this town,” Azoff says, finishing the sentence. “Where’d you get that? John told that story to [Apple senior vice president] Eddy Cue on the golf course three days ago. It’s true. I called John up and said, ‘OK, get your ass out here. We can take this town.’”

In the ensuing years, Azoff has occupied nearly every high-level position the music industry has to offer, surfing waves of industry consolidation. He’s been the president of a major label, MCA; the CEO of Ticketmaster; and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation. In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment; Azoff ran the Forum in Inglewood for Dolan after MSG purchased it in 2012.

Earlier this year Dolan sold the Forum for $400 million to former Microsoft CEO and Clippers owner Steve Ballmer, who’s since announced plans to build a new stadium on a site just one mile away. Despite the apocalyptic parking scenario that looms for the area — two stadiums and a concert arena on a one-mile stretch of South Prairie Boulevard — Azoff is confident that the Forum will live on as a live-music venue. “People are going, ‘They’re going to tear it down’ — they’re not going to tear it down,” Azoff says. “It’s going to be in great hands. I have many of the artists we represent booked in the Forum, waiting for the restart based on COVID.”

The holdings of the Azoff Co. — formed when Dolan sold his interest in Azoff MSG back to Azoff two years ago — include Full Stop, the performance-rights organization Global Music Rights and the Oak View Group, which is developing arenas in Seattle and Belmont, N.Y., and a 15,000-seat venue on the University of Texas campus in Austin. Azoff describes himself as increasingly focused on “diversification, and building assets for the family that aren’t just dependent on commissions, shall we say.”

But as both a manager and a co-founder of a lobbying group, the Music Artists Coalition, he’s also devoting more time and energy to a broad range of artists’-rights issues, from health insurance to royalty rates to copyright reversion to this year’s Assembly Bill 5, which threatened musicians’ independent-contractor status until it was amended in September. (“That was us,” Azoff says, somewhat grandly. “I got to the governor, the governor signed it — Newsom was great on it.”) He describes his advocacy for artists — even those he doesn’t manage — as a “war on all fronts,” and estimates there are 21 major issues on which “we’ve sort of appointed ourselves as guardians.”

He does not continue to manage artists because he needs the money, he says. (As the singer-songwriter and Azoff client J.D. Souther famously put it, “Irving’s 15% of everybody turned out to be more than everyone’s 85% of themselves.”) Everything he’s doing now — building clout through the Azoff Co., even accepting the Hall of Fame honor — is ultimately about positioning himself to better fight these fights. “I’d rather work on [these things] than anything else,” he says. “But if I didn’t have the power base in the management business, I couldn’t be effective.”

The recorded music industry, having fully transitioned to a digital-first business, is once again making money hand over fist, he points out, but even less of that money is trickling down to artists. That imbalance long predates Big Tech’s involvement in the field, but the failure of music-driven tech companies to properly compensate musicians is clearly the largest burr under Azoff’s saddle.

“These people, when they start out — whether it’s Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, whatever — they resist paying for music until you go beat the f— out of them. And then of course, none of them pay fair market value and they get away with it. Your company’s worth $30 billion and you can’t spend 20 grand for a song that becomes a phenomenon on your channel? Even when they pay, artists don’t get enough. Writers don’t get enough. Music, as a commodity, is more important than it’s ever been, and more unfairly monetized for the creators. And that’s what creates an opportunity for people like me.”

AZOFF’S FIRM NO longer handles Travis Scott, by the way. “Travis is unmanageable,” Azoff says, nonchalantly and without rancor. “We’re involved in his touring as an advisor to Live Nation, but he’s calling his own shots these days.”

I ask if, in the age of the viral hit and the bedroom producer, he finds himself running into more artists who assume they don’t need a manager. Ehh, Azoff says, like it’s always been that way. “There’s a lot of headstrong artists,” he says. “I haven’t seen one that’s better off without a manager than with,” he says, and laughs a little Dennis the Menace laugh.

We’re back at the house. Azoff takes a seat on the living-room couch; Larry Solters sits across from him, his back to the sea. Azoff recalls another big client. Declines to name him. Says he was never happy, even after Azoff and his people got him everything on his wish list. “He hit me with a couple bad emails. Just really disrespectful s—. I sent him an email back that said, ‘Lucky for me, you need me more than I need you. Goodbye.’”

He will confirm having resigned the accounts of noted divas Mariah Carey and Axl Rose. Reports that he once attempted to manage Kanye West have been greatly exaggerated, he says, although they’ve spoken about business. “Robert [Kardashian] was a good friend of mine. The kids all went to school together,” Azoff says. “What I always said to Kanye was, you’re unmanageable, but we can give you advice.

“A lot of people could have made a dynasty on the people we used to manage,” Azoff says, “let alone the ones we kept.”

But he still works with many artists who joined him in the ’70s — with Henley, with Steely Dan’s Donald Fagen and with Joe Walsh. Walsh has been sober for more than 25 years; it was Azoff, along with Henley and Frey, who talked him into rehab before the Eagles’ 1994 reunion tour. “Irving never passed judgment on me,” Walsh says. “And from that meeting on, he made sure I had what I needed to stay sober.” If he hadn’t, Walsh says, there’s no chance we’d be having this conversation. “All the guys I ran with are dead. Keith Moon’s dead. John Entwistle’s dead. Everybody’s dead, and I’m here. That’s profound to me.”

The first client Azoff lost was Minnie Riperton — in 1979, to breast cancer when she was only 31. Then Warren Zevon, to cancer, in 2003. Fogelberg, to cancer, four years later.

“And then Glenn,” says Azoff, referring to the Eagles co-founder who died in 2016. “I miss Glenn a lot. And now Eddie.”

Van Halen, that is. I ask Azoff if he can tell me a story that sums up what kind of guy Eddie Van Halen was; he tells me a beautiful one, then says he’d prefer not to see it in print. It makes perfect Azoffian sense — profane trash talk on the record, tenderness on background.

I ask if he’s been moved to contemplate his own mortality, as his boomer-aged clients approach an actuarial event horizon. Of course the answer turns out to involve keeping pace with an Eagle.

“Henley and I are having a race,” he says. “Neither one of us has given in. Neither one of us is going to retire.”

Henley was born in July 1947; Azoff came along that December. Does Don plan to keep going, I ask, until the wheels fall off?

“I don’t know,” Azoff says.

Do you ever talk about it?

“Yeah! He’ll call me up and he’ll go, ‘I really feel s— today.’ And I say, ‘Well, you should, Grandpa. You’re an old man. You ready to throw in the towel? Nope? OK.’”

Azoff says, “I contend that what keeps us all young is staying in the business. I’ve had more people tell me, ‘My father, he quit working, and then his health started failing,’ and all that. Every single — I mean, every single rock star I know is basically doing it to try and stay young. And I think it works. I really think it works.

“I have this friend,” Azoff says. “Calls me once a week, he’s sending me tapes, it’s his next big record. Paul Anka! He’s 80 years old. OK? And my other friend, Frankie Valli …”

“Do you know how old Frankie Valli is?” Solters says. “Eighty-six. And he still performs.”

“Not during COVID,” Azoff says. “I told the motherf—, ‘You’re not going out.’”

#jeffrey azoff #la times #11.05.20

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onestowatch · 4 years ago

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How Mahalia Jackson Blessed the Masses

A painting is a collaboration of three things: the canvas, the creators, and the acrylics. If the music industry is a painting, then Black musicians are all three. Black musicianship has played a role in every facet of American music. The focus here is not on the Black musicians we all know and love but rather on the stories that too often remain untold.

In honor of Black History Month, we will take you back through the decades, highlighting four music pioneers: Mahalia Jackson, The Funk Brothers, Gamble and Huff, and Frankie Knuckles. From Gladys Bentley and Deford Bailey to Marian Anderson and Jackie Wilson (the original Elvis, who bridged R&B and soul), there are so many incredible yet overlooked narratives that not only crafted unprecedented genres but also created the foundation for most of the music we listen to today.

In the 1930s and ‘40s Sister Rosetta Tharpe caught the world’s attention as one of the first gospel recording stars and the first to draw in R&B audiences. But she did even more than introduce gospel to the mainstream. Using an electric, slightly distorted guitar sound to accompany herself, Tharpe pioneered the early sounds of rock’n’roll. Often called the Godmother of Rock and Roll, Tharpe was simultaneously paving the way for Mahalia Jackson, the Queen of Gospel.

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Mahalia Jackson carried on Tharpe’s torch, igniting the role of gospel in the mainstream, lending her voice to both mass audiences and to the civil rights movement. Harry Belafonte described Mahalia Jackson as "the single most powerful black woman in the United States.”

Inspired by blues artists like Bessie Smith, Jackson combined the note-bending soul of blues with the belting courage of gospel. As she explains it, “With the blues, when you finish, you still have the blues... I sing God's music because it makes me feel free. It gives me hope."

She carried with her the spirit of the black church, using her entire body to transcend her performance, clapping her hands, stomping her feet and touching people’s hearts. Smith and Jackson paved the way for artists like Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis who also recorded and performed gospel albums. The popularization of gospel was not only adapted by other artists, but also helped shape the sound of coming decades, starting with soul and Motown.

Born in 1911, in the Carrollton neighborhood of New Orleans, Jackson lived in a three bedroom home with 13 family members. At the age of four or five, her mother passed and her aunt raised her and her siblings. By that age, however, Jackson had already begun singing at Mount Moriah Baptist Church, her childhood place of worship.

In 1931, Jackson moved to Chicago where she was invited to join the Greater Salem Baptist Church Choir and toured around the region’s churches with Johnson Gospel Singers. Six years later, she became the first gospel singer signed to Decca and traveled to perform with her infectious stage presence. Fast forward almost ten years, Jackson recorded “Move On Up a Little Higher” which, in 1948, became the best selling gospel record of all time.

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The turn of the decade marked the turn of Jackson’s career, as she became the first gospel singer to perform at Carnegie Hall. In 1952, her recording of “I Can Put My Trust in Jesus” won a prize from the French Academy, prompting a European tour. Jackson’s success became so massive that in 1954 she started hosting her own weekly radio series on CBS, which was the first gospel-focused national program. The show featured both black musicians and a white quartet, prompting a blend of gospel with the “doo-wop” style of the times.

While this grew her white audience, some gospel purists were upset with the crossover (Tharpe experienced similar criticism). That same year, Jackson signed to Columbia and released an album fittingly titled, “The World’s Greatest Gospel Singer.” She also broke into the Top 40 list with “Rusty Old Halo.”

At the National Baptist Convention in 1956, Mahalia Jackson met Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. who asked her to sing at a rally to raise money for the ongoing bus boycott in Montgomery. Soon enough, Jackson began appearing regularly to sing, usually before Dr. King’s speeches. As Jesse Jackson explains, she never denied Dr. King and even traveled with him through the segregated south. Jackson also sang at John F. Kennedy’s inaugural ball, at the March on Washington, and at Dr. King’s funeral.

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Further expanding her legacy, Jackson won the first ever Grammy for the Gospel Music and Other Religious Recording category, an award whose creation she inspired and won three years in a row from.

Jackson passed away in 1972, but many greats like Sammy Davis Jr and Ella Fitzgerald attended her funeral to pay their respects and celebrate her legacy. Aretha Franklin closed the funeral with “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” There was also a service held in New Orleans where both the mayor and Louisiana governor accompanied over 20 limos as they drove past her childhood place of worship, where her recordings were blasted through the speakers, audible even from her burial site at Providence Memorial Park.

Later, that year, Jackson won the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. She has since been inducted into multiple halls of fame, including the Grammy, Rock and Roll, Gospel Music, and of course, Louisiana Music Hall of Fame, where there is a performing arts theatre reopened in her name.

#mahalia jackson #soul #gospel #black history month

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chicagolimoandblackcarservice · 2 years ago

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aallamericanlimofan-blog · 1 year ago

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#2024BaseballSeason #ChicagoWhiteSox #LiamHendriks #TommyJohnSurgery #WhiteSoxUpdate

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cheaplimoservicenearme · 4 years ago

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sitched-a · 5 years ago

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APRIL 7. kim possible wakes up that morning expecting to get two things accomplished that day: set up her website WWW.KIMPOSSIBLE.COM ( check), and ace cheerleading try-outs ( double check ). what she isn’t prepared for is the first hit on her site coming so soon, let alone be a full-blown rescue mission. the stakes don’t fully set in until she’s standing at the gates of mr. paisley’s swanky upperton mansion, ron’s new pet naked mole rat hijacking the security system so they can get inside. this seems like something the police should handle; but as soon as they’re inside, it’s clear that the police aren’t an option, and kim, thinking fast, leaps into action—quite literally. a few backflips, back hand springs and cartwheels later and she’s shutting off a deadly laser web, saving two lives in the process.

mr. paisley insists on giving kim and ron a ride back to middleton in his private limo, explaining the whole situation to kim’s bewildered and concerned parents. they’re not exactly thrilled by kim’s willingness to readily throw herself into danger, but it’s hard to argue knowing the whole thing would’ve ended a lot worse had she not come to mr. paisley and mr. mchenry’s rescue. mr. paisley insists on rewarding kim for her efforts; she and her parents politely decline. after all, how do you put a price tag on saving a life? kim is just happy she was able to help.

MAY 10. over a month goes by since the laser incident, and kim receives a thank-you gift from mr. paisley days before her thirteenth birthday—two vip tickets and backstage passes to international pop princess britina’s chicago concert playing the following week. it’s a small token of appreciation in mr. paisley’s eyes, something he notes in a letter accompanying the tickets, and makes sure to let her know that if she ever needs a favor, he’s only a phone call away.

while kim’s parent’s are a bit skeptical at the man’s generosity, it’s hard to say no to their daughter, especially so close to her birthday; kim is allowed to attend the concert, on the condition ann accompanies her. this is more than reasonable for kim; she’s walking on air for the next several days, to the point that not even bonnie rockwaller can drag her down.

MAY 22. it’s the greatest day of kim’s life, thus far; she gets to take a private jet, courtesy of mr. paisley and his endless generosity. it’s an overnight trip and she spends most of the flight educating ann on britina and other pop stars, until they land in chicago, drop their bags at the hotel, and visit some museums before the concert. when they arrive at the venue, they’re given a private tour, ending in the wings of the backstage area. the opening act, N*TUNE, is better than she could have dreamed and she almost dies when she gets to take pictures with the group and talk to them, albeit briefly. meeting britina between sets, however, is the icing on the cake; the two girls click immediately. it was like they had known each other for years, and kim can’t help but share why she had traveled all the way from colorado to chicago for the concert.

as fate would have it, right as britina takes to the stage to open her set, an overheated breaker box bursts into flames. kim smells the smoke before she sees the fire, but is quick to spring into action, leaping onto the craft services table and taking a flying jump toward a rolling chair, which she uses to glide quickly to the fire extinguisher. moments later, as flames lick up one of the massive curtains, kim jumps and lands cleanly on top of a speaker, using the height to extinguish the fire before it can get worse. the moment stands still around her as she takes it all in—roadies staring up at her, wide-eyed, ann looking white as a sheet, britina and n*tune with their jaws practically on the floor; and then everyone backstage—and the venue—bursts into thunderous cheers and applause.

ann can’t scold her daughter, not right away; not when she’s happy that she’s safe. but kim can’t help but apologize, insisting that she had to do something; britina hugs her and thanks her graciously before starting the show, and after the opening song, pulls kim out on stage to introduce her to the crowd of twenty thousand as “the girl who can do anything!”

following the concert is an after party britina insists ann and kim attend, and after a couple of hours of meeting some of her favorite artists of all time, kim’s ready to call it a night—one she’ll never forget.

MAY 25. monday comes and kim is back at school, and everyone is buzzing about her stint at the britina concert; not only did the star tweet about it over the weekend, but several videos by that point have gone viral. soon news stations are calling the possible household; the new york times wants to interview kim for the story. teen vogue wants to profile her for a most influential persons under 21 piece. the governor wants to personally congratulate her for her aptitude for courage and heroism.

JUNE 17. before kim knows it, the requests for help are flooding into her website. locally, it’s mostly babysitting and dog walking. but soon enough there’s a high-profile hairdresser traveling to go city from france and he needs someone to watch his champion poodle at a dog show while he works on some clients. after some wearing down from her parents, james and ann agree that kim can do it, mostly because it doesn’t seem dangerous. but when dognappers show up to make off with gigi, kim is quick to use the skills cultivated from years of martial arts training from her nana, kicking both thieves into their own kennels and locking them up quickly, until security arrives on the scene. francois can’t be more grateful, something he expresses over and over, telling kim that should she ever need anything, she should not hesitate to contact him.

third time’s the charm, as they say; as word spreads around about the american teenager who can do anything, more requests for help start piling in; and along with it, a resume a mile long that boasts PHDs in cybertronics, physics, engineering, you name it—she’s setting up a video chat with wade load and even though she’s skeptical about getting help from a ten-year-old, he is a genius; one who proves it by hacking her website and streamlining it in under an hour. he has the job, and by the next week, kim has her first set of gadgets to test out, and the perfect mission to implement them on.

there’s a lab in washington missing their top-secret, cutting-edge robotic tech, and they need kim possible’s help tracking down the thieves behind it, before it’s too late.

#i. character study / headcanon.#meta.#this was a doozy #and i might come back and clean up the last bit a little #but ugh i love ONE (1) go-getter teenager

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moroccosoul · 4 years ago

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Jimi Hendrix and the Unidentified Mourner

In the summer after my first year at the University of Washington, the year of the Radical Movement, the Seattle Liberation Front and the shutdown of freeways and takeovers of campus buildings, with tear gas at demonstrations and helmeted police tech squads bashing with batons, I lived in the House of Happiness, a barren white house in a dingy area of south Seattle off Rainier. We were there for Henry, a charismatic Black 35-year-old man with a build and demeanor like the statue of David. His eyes looked deeply into you and were matched by mindful eloquence. The only “furniture” we had was a saw horse in the carpeted large main floor living room and a mattress in one of the bedrooms upstairs. We all slept curled up on the carpeted floor except for Sheila who had her own room upstairs. We were there for a therapy led by Henry of expanding consciousness, of leaving our old conditioned self behind and stepping into a whole new world of natural instinct. Henry had come from a group in Chicago named “Naturalism Inc.” They were part of the revolution that incited the riots during the Democratic Convention which led to the arrest and trial of the Chicago Seven. So Henry had “cred”.

We were just down the road from Sick Stadium, Seattle’s baseball stadium. Down the hill from our house was a discount store called “Chubby Tubby’s”. Word was announced that Jimi Hendrix would be playing at Sick Stadium. I went with my first girlfriend Judy. We sat up in the bleachers under cover while Seattle drizzle sprinkled lightly on the field beneath a gloomy grey sky watching the opening band half-heartedly. I had a couple mescaline pills that we downed. They began to kick in lightly as we went to the inside food stands during intermission. My old friend Johnny Rosenberry was there, grinning mischieviously. Friends since third grade at Sacred Heart Elementary School, we were renegade spirits. No surprise that he would be at the concert, releasing his comical laughing eyes like a Shakespearean sprite. Back in the stands, we saw the deluge of rain come spattering down on the field below. Hordes of people left, or perhaps stayed in the stands, whereas Judy and I went down to the field itself where there were about seventy or eighty of us in separate groupings with a foot of two between us. It was perhaps due to the mescaline that the rain didn’t matter. In fact it looked like thin rivulets of honey running down my arms and face and everyone around us. Hendrix came out and was at the front mic introducing what was to come. A round faced girl with long thick dark hair hoisted a watermelon up as a gift to him. Jimi bent down and took it up, and with a feigned look of awe held it to his mouth and mimed chomping into it. Then with a snarl threw the melon back. That night he played all the major classics from “Are You Experienced” up through “The Power of Love”. Then he jammed with the band, improvising wildly as lightening flashed overhead. It was a stunning nuclear blast, here in his home town. Afterwards as the rain had let up we all stumbled out onto the street, our senses reeling. I looked over and saw Jerry, a friend from our Henry sessions , someone who had become shell-shocked, probably from drugs, grinning at us while he lopped a huge banana into his mouth, appearing as if he just stepped out from the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.

Later that summer in my family house in Spokane it was in the kitchen that I heard the news. We had an inbuilt intercom system that also was a radio. The intercom was useful for the downstairs boy’s hallway when Dad wanted to yell at us to get upstairs. Mom was fixing my Dad’s lunch. The newscaster said that Jimi Hendrix had just died in London. It was a punch in the gut. I slipped a bland menthol cigarette out of my mother’s purse and retreated to the furnace room beneath the stairs. I sat in the dark numbly smoking.

It was October and time to return to Seattle for the Fall Semester at the U of W. I stayed at Larry’s apartment at the north end of the Ave. at the top facing a little park where men cruised at night. We had just the month before separated from Henry and the House of Happiness. Having enough of being broke, and the attempted rape of Sheila by Roosevelt, a lumbering homeless Black man who in drunken rage threw food including eggs against the kitchen walls, and most of all Henry’s brief imprisonment, did we decide in a group meeting by candlelight (electricity had been cut off) to go our separate ways. Sheila back to Montana, Frances to her father’s apartment on Capitol Hill, Henry to the Bay Area, and myself to Spokane, where I was to hear the Hendrix news.

Now back in Seattle and the room at the top, we listened as the radio announced a public service for Hendrix in Sick Stadium. I was all set to go. Then at the 11th hour, it was announced that the viewing was canceled, that the family was going to have a private service. Its location was to be kept secret from the public. I was crushed. I felt that I needed to be there. Hendrix had been my God, his masturbatory sexuality on stage inflamed the very core of my being. His Black bluesy subtlety took me to an inner depth of quiet genius, this rebel who smashed all barriers and was the nucleus of the hippie consciousness expanding through the universe, the ultimate proof that the world would shift and connect all peoples with the Beatles mantra “All You Need Is Love.” We were to enter the Elysian Fields, holding hands, and now the light was snuffed.

In the morning, determined to find a way, I thought “funeral homes”. The radio report had started that all people involved with the funeral service were instructed to maintain absolute secrecy. I decided to try anyway, and opened the phone book to the yellow pages listing of funeral homes in Seattle. I started off calling one with “You’re handling the Hendrix service, aren’t you?” They hung up on me. This happened a few times. Larry had gone downstairs to the street where he had his car to drive us down to school. I was frustrated and desperate as Frances in the doorway was urging me to get moving down to the waiting car. I frantically dialed one more. This time the person answering replied “Yes, we are.” (pause) He exclaimed. “Who IS This?” I was silent. He hung up.

I had found it. In the car my mind raced. Frances and Larry were indifferent. We got to campus and I needed someone to assist me. Frances and Larry had raced off to their classes. I couldn’t call the funeral home back as they knew my voice. I saw Rochelle, a tall gawky girl with short cropped dark hair. I got her to go into a phone booth in the HUB and call the funeral home stating that she was the florist handling the service but that she has misplaced the address. I saw her jot it down. I grabbed the paper and tore off across campus to find a bus going to that far side of south Seattle. It was late morning and I panicked, thinking I might miss it all. I sat in the back of the bus on the green naugahyde long seat facing the center aisle. I sat sideways facing front, watching for any sign of a church, scratching anxiously on the seat. To calm myself I imagined giving a eulogy, saying how Jimi’s death marked the end of the era, what with Altamont and the Isle of Wight’s violent festivals sending the Woodstock Generation of Peace and Love from it’s Genesis to this ultimate death. This was the end, sadly marked by the loss of its prophet.

Then around a curve I saw a line of silver police motorcycles side by side, their fronts facing diagonally out from the curb. Then the little chapel appeared to my right with groupings of people on either side of the doorway. I got off the bus and joined them. The chapel was filled, and even famous musicians were outside, including Johnny Winters, all facing the center door listening. One could hear speakers and hymns. Then the congregation began to exit. Photographers bound across the grass towards the concrete walkway. First came the family members. A group of teenage girls, perhaps Jimi’s cousins or nieces in black saw the cameras and the plump one in the middle fell out in a Baptist seizure while the other two held her up. Buddy Miles emerged serene and robust in a jacket of multi colored patchwork squares of gold, dark green and maroon leather, like a checkerboard. Miles Davis strode out with a young woman on both arms, one in a hooded red cloak and the other a light skinned thin black girl in a silver miniskirt with accents of lilac, a huge billowy lilac afro and silver boots. The curb was lined with a dozen limousines, black uniformed drivers opening the doors. I went past the photographers and entered an empty limo, sitting against the far window. The limos filled with family and associates and we were off, sailing outside Seattle until a green grassy large cemetery appeared to the right. There was a rope strung across a walkway to keep the photographers and any outsiders back, but I continued past with the family and guests. Up upon a knoll beneath an awning was the casket covered with flowers. Just a few feet away was a large guitar of purple and white flowers propped on a stand angled towards the coffin. Everyone stayed down about ten feet from there as the immediate family went up beneath the awning. They were all in black. There may have been some words shared and a prayer, followed by the singing of a hymn. I think it was “Swing Down, Sweet Chariot.” As they sang, one of the young girls pulled some flowers off of the casket as a keepsake. It seemed like a good idea, so when they stepped away and the onlookers relaxed in position, I stepped up to the casket and pulled some flowers off myself. I didn’t realize it was a moment for Jeffrey Michaels, Jimi’s producer, and the musicians from the original Jimi Hendrix Experience, Noel Redding and Mitch Mitchell to stand before the casket. A photo of this moment appeared in both Seattle newspapers the next day, one of which calls me the “unidentified mourner” while naming the other three. The photo captures me reaching into the flowers.

I walked down through the mingling people and stopped near a group of about eight people, recognizing a few as famous musicians. At the foot of the group a short soft-spoken Black man was the focus of everyone’s attention. He sounded like he had a sore throat, speaking in a raspy voice, as he said that Jimi’s music was what he listened to at home. Then he stopped and looked past everyone at me, with a questioning look on his face like “Who the fuck are you?” As the others turned towards me I gave a thoughtful look into another direction and stepped away. As soon as I began to walk back up the knoll a young woman stepped to me with a microphone and asked what effect Jimi’s death had on me. I was already prepared, as I had already given this speech in my head on the bus coming out to the chapel. Rochelle, the friend who had called the funeral home as the florist, heard my interview on the radio the next morning.

Up a curve a limo drove through the trees and stopped just down from us. The driver in black got out and opened the back door. The woman in the red cloak and dark glasses emerged and walked slowly but focused past everyone and up to the flowered casket. She lifted her arm thoughtfully keeping it straight with her palm extended over the casket and held it still that way for a few moments as everyone else stood frozen and mesmerized. She then receded back to the limo where the driver shut her door and drove back down the curving hillside.

I was driven back into the City. When I saw myself called the “Unidentified Mourner” in the morning newspaper, I was amused. It seemed a good title for my life. The flowers remain in the magazine I pressed them in.

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identies · 5 years ago

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